It's been tough this century.
Tougher than I ever thought.
I thought, "There we are, we've done it.", nice little world. Well done, the West, we've made it. We've survived.
What an idiot.
What a stupid, little idiot I was.
But I didn't see all the clowns and monsters heading our way, tumbling over each other, grinning.
It's a relic. So, this particular relic is saying, "Let's move on."
Well, it's very kind of you. Yes, it is. Perhaps, but it still doesn't alter the fact that it's all your fault.
The banks, the government, the recession, America, Mrs Rook. Every single thing that's gone wrong.
It's your fault.
Because we are - every single one of us.
We can sit here all day, blaming other people. We blame the economy, we blame Europe, the opposition, the weather. And then we blame these vast, sweeping tides of history, you know, like they're out of our control, like we're so helpless and little and small - but it's still our fault.
Yes, but you didn't do anything, did you?
20 years ago, when they first popped up, did you walk out?
Did you write letters of complaint?
Did you shop elsewhere?
You huffed and you puffed and you put up with it.